Short Breath of Solitude

March 20, 2021

Frost covered the ground as I left the western parking lot at Pinnacles National Park. I had no idea how many layers I should be wearing in temperatures like this. It was mostly was due to inexperience in colder temperatures, but also sheer stubbornness against being cold.

I was going to get warm and sweaty quickly. The first ten minutes it takes to warm up seem to be hard to deal with. Why would I get cold when I don’t have to?

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I was layering down quickly as the sun lit up the frosty grass in the valley. As soon as the trail started going uphill I had to remove all my extra layers. I stopped and loaded them into my vest as the temperatures quickly climbed.

I hiked up the hill feeling absolutely awful. Did I come out too fast? Was I still overheated? Did I eat something weird? Not eat enough? I was only 20 minutes into this long run wondering if I should just go back.

But as I am stubborn with my layers, I am stubborn with my mileage. This was my time to be free and enjoy solitude away from screens. Just breathe the clean wild air of the Pinnacles backcountry and go where I have never been before.

I tried to walk off the awful groggy fatigue I was feeling as I got up along the ridgeline where I could see back toward the parking lot and the towering rock formations of the namesake of the park. I wanted to let nature inspire and guide me to push onwards. The ongoing off feeling in my body was lingering, but the cool mountain air felt healing.

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Up-hills felt harder than they should have, but I reminded myself that the climbing would mostly all be done in this first few miles. I was alone out on the trail. I hadn’t seen anyone since I left the parking lot. I had to push myself because I felt safe enough to. I knew I could do these miles and this elevation.

Sometimes things just don’t feel great. My legs were still moving even though my mind begged me to stop at times. I just listened and slowed down when needed. At the top of the ridgeline I looked back toward the parking lot and the pinnacles. I felt terrible and heavy, but yet I still moved forward.

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Every little step was taking me somewhere better. I just couldn’t see or feel it yet. I tried to pull from feeling grateful for little things while I was running. Nature was just about to send me more help and inspiration.

The trail started heading back down the hill quickly. Two miles of climbing and now I was heading back down into a ravine. Green, dewy grass lined the steep v-shaped ravine. My shoes started to soak up the moisture as I watched my footing on the narrow trail.

A whoosh from above brought my eyes back up. A small owl had soared above me from one branch to another on the other side of the ravine. I smiled in awe continuing down the trail with careful footing. It took off again as I got closer and we soared together down the ravine before it found another spot to rest.

I found myself forgetting about my heavy legs as I saw how effortless my friend looked. I couldn’t believe my luck to see the owl and have it fly with me. I laughed as we flew several more yards together before the owl flew off and out of sight.

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I sighed, feeling a little lighter and a lot more inspired to finish the loop I had planned. The trail was still leading me steeply downhill until it opened up into a wider and rockier drainage. After crawling over a blow down, the trail took a sharp right taking me east now.

First I was in chaparral, then a vibrant green ravine lined with trees, and now I was in a rocky drainage. It is amazing where your legs can take you. I followed the trail at a much gentler grade now. I hopped around the various small rocks to avoid rolling my ankles and followed the mostly straight trail.

A few interesting rock outcropping ran along the trail that looked similar but smaller than the pinnacles the park is named for. Perhaps this was a smaller volcano in part of this small area that has been sliding north on the San Andreas fault. I looked at all the interesting features that had been carved out by millions of years before moving on.

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The sun was blinding me as I travelled eat on a path lined with rocks and tufty grass. The trail wasn’t overgrown, but it wasn’t well worn either. A truer wilderness experience. It felt good to be away from people and the wide open sandy hills near my home.

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A few large blow downs tested my ability to find the best way around. The challenge keeping my mind moving away from the Zen of a long run. It is so easy to get lost in your thoughts and forget to look around. Sometimes you need one more than the other. Today I needed external forces to keep me going because my mind couldn’t seem to be distracted from the way my body was feeling.

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The trail soon turned south and winded around, in, and beside a drainage. Some water was moving here and the further south I ran the more people I ran into. Before this turn I had only seen three people, but now numbers were doubling and tripling quickly as I got closer to the parking area on the eastern side of the park.

I hopped over the creek several times winding my way to the main thoroughfare from the western to the eastern side of the park, the Balconies Cave Trail.

A hard right took me off the singletrack and the circle was almost completed. Many people were out now on the trail that was as wide as a fire road as I headed back west to my car.

I enjoyed the lovely greenery, trees, and views to the rocky outcroppings above as I ran up a gentle grade. The shade was also welcoming as the morning air was now far warmer than when I started and my body temperature had risen significantly.

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Soon I reached the turn off to go around and above the Balconies Cave since it was still closed due to COVID-19 concerns. I slowed to hike up the moderately steep grade that quickly brought me above the lush greenery of the river bed.

Gorgeous moss and lichen covered outcroppings became visible. My slower pace allowed me more time to soak in all their beauty and my body was ready for this run to be over. A nice couple stopped to talk to me and ask me where I had already been this morning.

I guess they could tell from my sweat drenched body and running vest that perhaps I had a few miles under me already. I told them about the North Wilderness loop and how beautiful and peaceful it was before we parted ways.

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A bit more climbing up to the saddle had me ready for the short distance that remained. I was completely surrounded by ancient volcanic rock and I fully soaked in the view. The trail wound back down to the river valley I had just left to go around the cave.

Again I had to climb, but the cool air and shade in the ravine bottom made it a little better. I wished I had felt better the whole time but tried to take what I could from the experience.

I got to see a gorgeous place, spend some time alone, and explore new trails. A few of my favorite things to help me recharge. But after a run like that I knew I needed to rest fully and take my time to recover. My body told me the whole time I was tired, but I pushed through because I also knew I wasn’t risking injury as long as I took it easy.

I was glad for the experience and the mental strength to push through even on a tough run. I felt grateful for the beauty, protection, and conservation of this place because sometimes that’s all I need to help me push through.

Ran on lands originally belonging to the Ohlone people which comprises the Amah Mutsun Tribal Band and Chalon people.